My New Year's Resolutions

I know it's not even Christmas (well almost) but I need to think about what I am going to do for the New Year.

1. Sew more buy less (fabric). This is on my list every year. I never keep this one but I don't want to break with tradition.

2. Make at least 10 quilts from Two From One Jelly Roll Quilts. I love this book and have plenty of Jelly Rolls. More than ten in fact. So I wouldn't even need to buy the Jelly Rolls. Background fabric is another story. I don't have many solids or subtle fabrics.

3. Open an Etsy shop. I love Etsy and it's handmade/artisan focus. I will probably have to put this one on hold until after tax season but it's definitely doable. It would take a lot of planning & organization. Those are not two words that I would use to describe me or my sewing but that's why I have Jamee. He's all about planning & organizing and he's especially about me sewing up fabric (that I already own) and selling (anything, including Kitty which I refuse to do even though I know he's worth well over a million easy).

I wish all a very Merry Christmas and excellent New Year. Hopefully I won't wait so long to write again.

Grocery Store Layouts?

I am convinced my grocery store (and yes, it is MINE) was laid out by someone on crack. In what world is peanut brittle considered a nut?!? Yes, the nuts section at my store has peanut brittle. Goobers (chocolate-covered peanuts) and Raisinettes and Peanut M&M's are in the candy aisle which is where they belong. But peanut brittle is with nuts. Hello, peanut brittle is a CANDY. I mean, it's sweet, it tastes good and I can eat it by the container. Nuts, I can eat a few and go on. And, nuts even have health benefits. And as hard as I try, I can't find health benefits for peanut brittle. That is unless someone shares their crack pipe with me.

You may now continue with your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you.

Shopping Bag

Here is a finished sewing project by ME!!!!! It is a reusable shopping bag. And, I actually used it last night at Publix. Yeah!!!! I think I talked about this in my last post. Fabric is from Sam's 2009 Halloween costume that was replaced by a Walgreen's cheapy costume. I used the tutorial from here. Will definitely make more of these.

I am currently working on a messenger bag from Amy Butler. I am using an army green twill for the exterior and a coordinating stripe for the interior. Instead of cutting out the pattern, I just measured the pieces (they are all rectangular) and used my rotary cutter and ruler to cut them out. It is a very good idea to use tape (masking/paper) and mark the pieces w/the name of the piece. I think it would also be very beneficial to mark the top of the pattern. It seems on a couple of pieces, I turned my fabric pieces sideways and now am having trouble matching everything up. For instance, the top flap doesn't run all the way across the top. I think it will look okay since the lining will finish the top of the bag. At least I hope so. There are a lot of pieces to this bag, especially when you throw in the lining pieces. Just go slow and read the directions very carefully (directions, what are those.....oh, you mean that piece of paper with the words & diagrams on it....hmmm, I think I was using that as a coaster for my drink).

And for those of you who never ask, Kitty is fine. He was exercising just last night, like 10pm. Running up and down the hall, yowling like his tail was on fire and jumping on the bed where I was TRYING to go to sleep. He never does this during the day, only at night. He sleeps all day. I guess he needs to save his energy for those nocturnal aerobic exercises. Thanks, Jane Fonda. No more Netflix for Kitty.

Now on a philosophical note, I was watching a make-over show several weeks ago. the snotty hosts (who a thin, have stylists and know only the best plastic surgeons) asked the make-over victim when was the last time she felt beautiful. Never, was her answer. I have been pondering this question myself (along with maybe I should cancel satellite TV and do something productive like smoking crack). I can't remember a time when I ever felt beautiful. When I was in my 20's and not nearly as fat as I am today, I felt attractive, sometimes. Not usually but occasionally. I equate beauty with thinness. But it really isn't. I know thin people who are not beautiful. I sure everyone does. I also know people who are not thin who ARE beautiful. And, as I've gotten older, I find myself drawn to people who are "beautiful" on the inside. I don't mean to sound cliche, but "not nice" people just turn me off. I don't want to waste my time or energy on people like that. I also think that I don't see the outside as much as I do the personality of the person. I can't tell you what color their eyes are (I have to make myself look at someone's eyes and even then I look but don't see....I prefer to look at their nose or teeth or chin...somewhere on the face so hopefully they don't notice that I am not looking where I am supposed to be), but I can tell you what kind of person they are. I can tell you if they are soft and warm or hard and driven (not a bad thing at all).

I remember standing in bars when I was younger and watching people. I always felt different because I thought they were beautiful and thin and I wasn't. Men rarely hit on me (close to or after last call and/or having a BAC above .10 doesn't really count since desperation and alcohol both lower a person's inhibitions). On the rare occasions when they did, I didn't know what to do. Flirting, like what is that?????? I always managed to steer them into a conversation about current events. Nothing sexy. Nothing to say I'm available. Because, I really wasn't. I couldn't stand the thought, and still can't, of being physically touched by a stranger (my definition is "stranger" is a bit on the lax side but I did/do have a standard). I've never been raped, wasn't molested but I don't want people I don't know touching me....especially males (Kiefer Sutherland so doesn't count. I have seen him in his skivvies and tried to see more but the camera angle just wasn't right. Damn cameraman!!!!!!!).

Back to my original question. Have you ever felt beautiful? When my cousin, Erin, got married, I thought (and still do) that she was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. She GLOWED!!!!! And the fact that she has a smile better than Julia Roberts doesn't hurt either. And she is STILL beautiful. Just ask her boys (assuming their voices haven't gone to the airport which I don't think voices do, just kisses and smooches). I want to feel that way. But I just don't know how.

And now, even if lost enough weight to consider myself not fat, HELLO, I'm aging. I am obsessed about NOT aging. I have tons of anti-aging creams/cleansers/foundation/concealer. I see every little grey hair/root. I am trying to wait until the four week mark to go back to stylist to have my roots and highlights re-done. I see the grey after, like, two weeks. I used to go six to eight weeks. But now I am noticing it more. I don't think it is coming in any faster. And I think I am going bald. I swear I used to have more hair in the front. Really.

I know I just need to come to grips and love myself as I am. Faults make me unique and quirky. And, I do like myself sometimes (not when I looking for lost items...that seems to happen a lot to me...except for the wrinkles and pounds....those not so easy to lose). I don't want to be vain but apparently, I am. And I hate that. I don't hold other people to the standard I hold myself to. I never have. I cut others some slack (surprise to all those former co-workers, that WAS slack). But not me. I guess I will work on that too.

New Year and All

I am back at work. Just started last Monday. I do enjoy my job (well, most of the time.....not so much when I realized I had printed ALL of our letters and they were all wrong).

Still trying to sew. I found the fabric for Sam's 2009 Halloween costume. I am going to try and use it up. So far, I have almost finished a reusable shopping bag. Okay, that's like .5 yard out of five. I also fused it to a cotton woven. I had to make it sturdier and prettier on the inside. I am using this pattern. It is very easy to make and doesn't require a lot of sewing knowledge or precision. You can also make different sizes depending on much (or little) fabric you have on hand.

I was thinking about making some personalized ones for family and friends. Now that I have made one, I can makes changes on my pattern so that it suits my style of sewing better. I was thinking about things like monogramming, fabric choices, personal fabric selection. There are so many ways you can make this bag your own. I would encourage everyone to just jump in and make one. After all, it's only fabric.

When I first started sewing, many years ago, I was all caught up in being perfect. And, I think we should STRIVE for perfection but accept that PERFECT isn't always the "perfect" idea. If a project is just beyond salvage, I toss it. This is a hobby for me. If I can't relax and enjoy it, then it becomes a chore. And I don't know about you, but I am soooooo behind on my chores that I don't need to make anymore of those for myself (chores, that is). And, now that I am back at work, I have even less time to sew. I am not going to stress about projects not turning out. Some go into the UFO pile where they will eventually be finished or tossed. I find that some projects just need a little time away from me. Then I either fall in love again and work on them so more or find that I don't miss them and out they go. And out they go with NO GUILT. Just gotta let'em go.

I will try to write again soon. I think about my BLOG a lot. Always have ideas for it but not enough inspiration to actually sit and write. Can't imagine where Sam gets his distaste for writing from. And I took lots of journalism/writing classes. And made A's!!!!!! But I didn't really like them. Just goes to show that just because you CAN do something (like writing) doesn't mean that you will ENJOY it. Pick your hobbies carefully.

Love to all.